Goooooooooooooooooooooo, 5th grader! :D

#3 is so awesome. Though one wonders if the fact that he/she followed the guidelines is a byproduct of that fact that he/she is 5th grader, since parents and teachers do drill into elementary schoolers that one should always read the directions before starting. For a lot of adults, it seems, consulting the directions is only necessary if one can't figure out how to put together whatever they're working on on their own.

Even cooler is that the kid is actually seriously thinking about publication in the fifth grade. I don't think it even ocurred me to actually start submitting my stories until I was in high school.

Yay for that 5th grader! Hopefully I followed the directions correctly on my submission... *looks around nervously*

Is it possible for you to, if you can't accept the fifth-grader's work, at least write a personal rejection?

This is certainly the assumption being made, or at least implied by such an action. It's asinine.

I know you see submissions from some people who don't try very hard, or at all, to get it right, and it must get frustrating to weed through hundreds of manuscripts and try to make sense of something that is weird, or bad, or confusing. On the other hand, sometimes a problematic submission may be an accident, pure and simple. Do you ever get subs from pros where something is off -- clearly a mistake? Twice this year I've been plagued by worries after submitting stories about whether X submission was all right, and I keep a copy of Shunn's sample manuscript formats by my bed like some people keep Bibles.

Yes! The thought of submitting an unprofessional ms. is mortifying, and I count and recount pages, double-check labels on envelopes, etc. The worst for me is maybe postage. The rates change so regularly that the scales at some post offices or postal stations don't keep up with what the current rate is. I've twice caught myself about to mail something using the rate on their digital scale... when I realized it was calibrated one or two rates back -- so, .37/oz instead of .41.

Buymeaclue, that must have been a damn good story! ;)

I have to confess that I don't understand the stamps thing and never really have. What, they expect you to weight the package and mail back the extras unused?

According to George Scithers, Joe Haldeman was advising writers not to attach the stamps on the return envelope, because if the story was accepted then the magazine could keep the stamps that would have been used to return the manuscript and use them for other mail.

It probably made sense decades ago.

Oh, I should have made it clear that Scithers strongly counseled against it. I was just letting you know that some people may be doing that because an old pro told them it was a good idea.

Interesting. I admit I've been guilty of paperclipping stamps to enveloppes instead of pasting them, but there's a reason for this: I live abroad and the only US stamps I have are 96 Olympics 50c. So I enclose two of those and if the mag has time, they can always swap one fifty cent for whatever the price is and get extra postage. The first time I did it, they did take one stamp and change it, so I thought, as long as I'm wasting postage, let the mag keep it.

However, seeing how this is annoying, I'll paste them from now on.

I wonder if that fifth grader has parents who write? I could have done that at age 11, but only because my parents, who had decided I Had Talent*, told me how to submit way before I ever actually started writing. Otherwise, the kiddo's been doing her research, and either way, good on her!

The envelope without an address--well. I had a panicked moment there 'cause I know I've got something in your stack. "Am I certain I put the address on the envelope? Oh, heck!" It's like locking the door or turning off the coffeepot, you just can't be certain.



*I make no guarantees about the accuracy of my parents' opinion in the matter.

In re point 1: you know that about three seconds after that guy dropped it in the mailbox, he thought, "Crap, did I forget to address the return envelope?"

In re point 3: That's because fifth graders are still in an environment where the consequences for not following directions are always serious. They haven't yet developed the adult stupidity that's learned how to sometimes break the rules, but not yet determined the difference between rules you can break, and rules you can't.

Question in re point 2: Do you expect the authors to actually write "disposable" on their manuscript? Or put the phrase "enclosed ms is disposable" in their cover letter? I have a problem doing that, since it sounds subtly like saying the story is trash. I always just write, "A SASE is enclosed for your reply." Considering that it's a #10 envelope with a sinngle first-class stamp on it, I can't imagine anyone thinks I expect my ms back.

Really? Wow. Huh.