I'm often asked whether I see any trends regarding types of stories in the RoF slush. The answer is no. There very well could be some trends in the slush, but the truth is that I reject most stuff on the first or second page. When you reject stuff that early on, the stories don't make impressions on you (and if they do it's always for the worse). So it's sort of hard to notice a trend.

So on Saturday I said I would start slushing Monday. But in looking at that pile of unread manuscripts today, I started getting the old editorial itch. Before I knew it, I had grabbed the first ten and zoomed through them. I have to admit, all the new and newish responsibilities are great, but it was nice getting back to my roots. Also, I hate it when the slush is behind. I know it's only behind because some stuff was submitted to us while were officially closed to submissions, but I don't care. The point is that the slush is behind. And that needs to be rectified.

I found something in the art p.o. box addressed to me in my capacity as assistant editor.

In the past I've read cover letters wherein the author proceeds to tell me how s/he believes the story is a good match for the magazine or some variation of this formula.  But I've never had someone tell me their work is roughly in the top 20% of what we publish.  That just happened a short while ago.

It was an artist telling me this as opposed to a writer, but my advice would apply to folks in both fields: NEVER.  DO.  THIS.

Reasons:

1) You are not the editor or art director.  You are the writer or artist.  With all due respect, your opinions on this matter don't mean shit.  You want to judge what's best?  Be an editor, art director, or critic.  Heck, be a reader and discuss it with your friends.  But do not tell me how you're better than roughly 80% of what appears in the magazine when you're submitting to us.  It is arrogant.  It almost a slap in the face to roughly 80% of the artists, people this magazine has published.  That's not the way to endear yourself to a magazine. I understand the "I can do better than that!" reaction, and if that fuels you to put out great work, I applaud you.  But this is the sort of thing you leave out of a cover letter.  It comes off as amateur hour.

2) Even if your work is in the bottom 10% of what we publish, you should be glad it is good enough for the magazine.  If you're not, there's a strong possibility you're a diva.  If you are, there's a strong possibility I don't want to work with you. 

3) Let the work speak for itself.  If you tell me you're in the top 20% of what we publish, do you know what my reaction is?  "Oh yeah?"  Is this really the mindset you want me (or others) to be in when I consider your work?

4) Conversely, you're also admitting to me that roughly 20% of what appears in the magazine is better than you can do.  That may be true, but do you want to advertise that one out every five stories or illustrations in the magazine will be better than yours?  Considering that we usually publish six stories per issue, I'd advise against this, especially for artists.  Remember, the best interior illustration also appears on the cover, and the artist receives an extra $200.  So if we run our usual six stories, you're actually telling me you have less than a 20% of being this artist.  Again, I'll ask if this is the sort of information you want to advertise.  

5) Cover letters should never attract negative attention.  Repeat: cover letters should never attract negative attention.  Now repeat again: cover letters should never attract negative attention.  It is a HUGE red flag.

*Shakes head*  New ones.  They never get old (obviously).

 

I catch a misspelling in the title.

Ah, slush.  How you amuse me.

I'm staring at this submission.  Yellow police tape is wrapped around the mailing envelope, with the following words: POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS.  I am trying to decide if I want to open it.  I suspect curiosity will win.  I also suspect I'll reject it ...

When you tell me in your cover letter your work "recently appeared" in a particular venue and provide a publication date of 8/06, I think it's time to lose the "recently appeared."  We're pushing three years, fella.

I picked up a submission and heard a metallic jingling.  Sure enough, I opened it and found change inside ...change that I'm supposed to use to buy stamps to return his manuscript with in case I decide to reject it.

Are you kidding me???  Buy your own stamps! 

Damn it, Jim, I'm an editor, not an errand boy!

Today I came across a request for a free sampler issue from someone who wants to be published in the magazine.  I'm surprised it took this long to come across such a request.  Shawna put the kaibash on that one with a "No freebies!" 

that some authors provide envelopes too small for the manuscripts to be returned in without the editor bending or creasing said manuscripts in some way?  It makes no sense!

I rarely slush at such a late hour, but being as I was out of town yesterday and I'm anxious to get RoF back on schedule in all the departments I'm now a part of, I decided to plunge into the piles.

The very first submission I opened was from someone who submits to us on a fairly regular basis, or at least often enough that I recognize the author's name.  I don't believe I've ever given this author more than a standard rejection slip, though I can't be certain about this.  In the cover letter, this author proceeded to mention that this cover very well be his/her last submission to us.  S/he explains that a few years ago s/he scored a sale, followed soon afterward by another one (neither sale is specified).  Since then nada.  The author doesn't say it, but based on context it seems fairly obvious that s/he is discouraged and ready to let his/her writing become nothing more than the occasional hobby.

Being discouraged when it comes to writing and the submissions game is quite common.  But I can't recall an author ever all but talking about giving up in his/her cover letter.   I felt bad for the author in the respect I know this person cares about writing, had/has goals, and considering giving up must be a painful admission.

But it seems to me that in some ways this author has already given up, at least on a subsconscious level.  Otherwise s/he never would've written such a cover letter.  It is defeatist.  I am not inside the author's mind, so I don't claim to know his/her exact thought process here.  But this also seems a little desperate, an appeal to the heart to get something more than a standard rejection slip.  It is almost begging for a reason to keep going.

But as an editor I must judge the story, not the person.  My personal feelings don't come into play, unless the author happens to tug my heartstrings through the story itself.  Otherwise I'm not doing my job.  So I opened the submission, read as much as I needed to, and decided to pass on this.  Perhaps I could've scribbled a note on the rejection note.  I considered it.  But under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have.  And to write such a note now would be unfair to the author because who am I to tell this author to keep trying or to give up?   That's for the author to decide and since it seems the author is ready to give up, s/he doesn't seem to be asking for any response other than these two possibilities. 

But all I can do is judge the story.  And I did to the best of my ability.  And that's why I'm doing what I'm doing, which is sending out a standard rejection slip without comments.  Welcome to writing game.  Or perhaps I should say goodbye. 

I've set aside my first story since renewing slushing.  Even if Shawna rejects it, this is an excellent feeling.

So I opened a somewhat thick submission to Realms of Fantasy ...and discovered nine separate stories inside.  Nine!  And if this isn't outrageous enough, the author was very "courteous" to staple each SASE to the story in question.

*Sigh*

Newbies.  

Today I received a query ...for a story from 2005!  I'm sure old hats to the editorial game such Shawna, Ellen Datlow, Gordon Van Gelder, and Sheila Williams have stories that put this one to shame.  But for me this is a record by far.  Before this, I'd say the oldest query I received was about a year and change.

It took 3+ years, but I finally came across a submission to Realms of Fantasy about someone going around killing magazine editors.

From a cover letter: "I have also included a SASE for notification purposes only."

Not terrible, but I sometimes wonder what these authors are thinking.  The whole point of the SASE is for notification purposes.  It's rather silly to specify the obvious.  What, is the author worried we might steal the stamp for our own nefarious purposes and not bother to reply at all? 

1) From a cover letter: "Also, as a precaution, I am including contact information here on the cover sheet as well as on the first page of the manuscript."

Well, phew!  Good thing s/he had the foresight to include that precautionary note.  Otherwise I might have rejected this piece for this non-infraction.

2) I came across a handwritten note from a separate submission, featuring a proposal that Realms of Fantasy should publish two of the author's handwritten stories for free since s/he lacks "typing equipment."  I might have replied--maybe--but there was no SASE.  Regardless of the fact that we will never consider handwritten stories, I think there are a number of authors who would make this offer to ROF and other magazines if they thought it would lead to publication.  So no dice.

This batch is off to an interesting start! 

I swear, not including the queries I must deal with regarding the status of an author's story sent to us on such and such a date, 90% of all queries I must deal with for ROF are some of the stupidest most annoying questions I've ever encountered.

Hey Folks,

In my last post I asked if anyone knew Ian Donald Keeling, because ROF was having some trouble getting in touch with him and we wanted to buy his story.  Well, please call off the search.  It looks like Facebook is bringing us close to getting in touch with him, and we've been provided some additional routes of contact if this doesn't work.  Our rogue writer should be hunted down soon enough!

Thanks to todd_vandy for providing the additional routes.

Hey Folks,

In my previous post, I shared the latest purchases for Realms of Fantasy.  One of those was "Super.Family" by Ian Donald Keeling.  However, we've run into a snag.  Shawna emailed Ian an acceptance and the provided email address bounced back to her a little while later as being invalid.  Then we tried calling the provided phone #, except it went direct to the voice mail on a cell phone.  We would've left a message, except it was a woman's voice on the message.  So we're not even sure we have the right phone #.

At this point Shawna and I are out of ideas other than to go public.  If we have to, I suppose we can mail the SASE back to him with an explanation and such, but that could end up creating additional difficulties.  So I'm blogging about it here and Shawna is mentioning something on her Facebook account.  Ian has published with us before, and we'd obviously like to publish him again.  So if anyone knows Ian, please contact him and let him know that the ROF editorial department is trying to get in touch with him regarding "Super.Family".  He can contact me here, or through my email (slushmaster@gmail.com), or Shawna's email (realmsoffantasy@aol.com). 

Feel free to spread the word.

Thanks in advance.